I recently moved next door to my former home. The reasons for the move are not pleasant. I was forced here. You see, I’m a dandelion.
Last year, I heard the Smiths—my former landlords—talking to the folks at Southwest Greens about replacing their natural grass with a synthetic lawn. I knew there wouldn’t be much time left for me there, so I quickly went to seed and let the wind carry my white hairs over to the Browns’ yard, where I live now.
It’s nice here; don’t get me wrong. It’s just I miss my old home, but I had no other choice. A dandelion just can’t live where a Southwest Greens lawn is.
The synthetic grasses that Southwest Greens make are just too tough, too durable for a guy like me to survive. Sure, water flows through it really well, allowing the soil beneath to get a drink, but it completely smothers me and my weed buddies. And without any light, well, the comforts we used to enjoy completely disappear.
I’ve seen it happen too many times before. A family like the Smiths spend most of their free time and a bunch of their money trying to keep innocent guys like me off of their property. They hire companies to come and spray their chemicals all over us, but it doesn’t really do much. We just shake it off and keep growing year after year.
But as soon as one of them makes that awful phone call and we see the Southwest Greens truck pull up, we know we’re about to get the big eviction notice. We barely have enough time to set seed, pack our bags, and get ready for the next move.
I can’t lie. It’s tough to see the Smiths these days. They are always playing in the yard that used to be mine, not a weed like me in sight. They’re relaxed and having a great time while I try to make a new life for myself here. The only thing I can hope for now is that the Browns don’t make the same phone call to Southwest Greens. Life in the neighborhood will just become too hard. Soon everyone will want that perfect Southwest Greens lawn.